Behavior Management
Positive and Proactive
Postive Prevention
While rewards and consequences are a inherent part of any behavior plan, the data shows that anticipating and preventing behavior issues is more effective. This is best done by getting to know your students, their struggles and stressors, and teaching them coping strategies.
Using prompts, like proximity, verbal and non-verbal cues, and reminding the students how they are expected to behave can work wonders.
Rewards
Rewards have to be meaningful for the student to be effective. Praise and positive attention are always the first tool in an effective teacher's arsenal. For tangible rewards, a reward menu can be one way to allow the students to select rewards that they like out of many options. The options can include extra computer time, extra recess, a sticker, a conduct point, points towards a popcorn party, to list just a few examples.
Consequences
Consequences are intended to decrease the frequency of unwanted behavior, not to shame the student. Consequences should start out small and increase in severity. Teachers should remain calm, and avoid escalating a tense situation. Allow students the option of compliance or loss of a privilege, and give them time to and space to think.
First offense: verbal warning.
Second offense: loss of privilege
Third offense: Removal to different area and note home to parent.
Fourth Offense: Referral to office and call home to parent.
Bullying Prevention
Seven Skills to Teach Students
Act with Confidence
Bullies tend to target those they perceive to be more vulnerable. If you walk, sit, and act with awareness, calm, respect, and confidence, people are less likely to bother you. Hold your head high, keep your back straight, walk briskly, looking around, and having a peaceful face and body. Practice with students how to use calm and assertive body language, tone of voice and choice of words.
Leave an unsafe situation
The best self-defense tactic is called “target denial,” which means “don’t be there.” Leaving an unsafe situation is often the wisest and most effective solution for getting away from trouble. Point out that stepping out of line or changing seats is often the safest choice for getting away from someone who is acting aggressively.
Set Boundaries
Remind students hat being cruel or hurtful is wrong whether it happens in person, via social media, by texting, online or in any other way. Teach young people to how to speak up about disrespectful language directed at themselves or others by saying, “That didn’t sound kind.” Or, “That sounds prejudiced.” Or, “Please stop saying that.” Be clear that you will understand if they don’t feel safe speaking up, and that then their job is to get adult help.
Boundaries can also be important in dealing with aggressive or threatening behavior in situations where it is not possible to just leave. Waiting and wishing for a safety problem to go away on its own might allow the problem to get bigger.
Use your voice
Most young people who are being hurtful to others on purpose don’t want to get caught. Yelling and speaking up loudly calls attention to a bullying problem or any kind of unsafe behavior.
Protect Your Feelings
Learning how to protect their feelings from insults can prepare children and teens to take charge of their emotional safety all their lives. Discuss with students how saying, writing, emailing, or texting in ways that are hurtful to anyone makes problems bigger, not better. Their job is to stay in charge of what they say and do, no matter how they feel inside.
Speak up for Postive Inclusions
Skill #6: Speak Up for Positive Inclusion
Click to get this free poster to put up in your home, school, office, or youth organization – as a reminder and a prompt for discussion about upholding these values.
Being left out for reasons that have nothing to do with behavior is a major form of bullying. Exclusion of this kind should be clearly against the rules at school, in recreational activities, and in all youth groups. That said, it is important to realize that sometimes kids (and adults) avoid someone because of their hurtful or negative behavior. In that case, adult leadership is essential in helping that young person to develop more positive social skills and to negotiate win-win relationships.
In addition to getting adult help, a child or teen who is being excluded can practice asking to join a game in a respectful, persistent, and powerful way. Start by pretending to be a kid who is playing a game with a group and wants to leave someone out. Coach each student to walk up and say cheerfully and firmly, “I want to play.”
Coach your student to sound and look confident and friendly, not whiny or aggressive. Ask your students for the reasons that kids give for excluding them. Use those reasons so your students can practice persisting. For example, if the reason is, “You’re not good enough,” your students can practice saying “I’ll get better if I practice!” If the reason is, “There are too many already,” your students might practice saying, “There’s always room for one more.” If the reason is, “You cheated last time,” your students might practice saying, “I did not understand the rules. Let’s make sure we agree on the rules this time.” See our article: Shunning & Exclusion — how to protect children from relational bullying.
Be Persistent in Getting Help From Busy Adults
It’s important to practice getting help from busy adults so that young people can be persistent in getting the help they need when there is a problem.
Children and teens who are being bullied need to be able to tell teachers, parents, and other adults in charge what is happening in the moment clearly and calmly and persistently even if these adults are very distracted or rude – and even if asking for help has not worked before. Explain that telling to get help is not the same as tattling just to get someone in trouble. Learning how to have respectful firm words, body language and tone of voice even under pressure and to not give up when asking for help is a life-long skill.